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Keralites – Malayalees and Their English Accent Few Jokes For The Day

Posted in Education, Google's Knol, and Lighter vein

Last updated on July 19, 2019

Last updated on August 6, 2018.

 Few Jokes on Keralites and their English accent –  A Migrated Knol Post.

There is a common belief that Keralites (Malayalees), English accent is very poor and others laugh at them when they speak English.

This is a joke made on that line…

Hope my fellow Keralites will not get annoyed!

Keralites – Malayalees and Their English Accent Few Jokes For The Day!

The people of Kerala (A Southern state in India) is the members of a collection of the ethnic groups defined by their native language ‘Malayalam.

They are generally called as ‘Malayali’ or “Malayalees”.

This word is derived from the word ‘Malayalam.’

The people who speak the language Malayalam and are natives of Kerala are called Malayalis or Keralites.

Yet another nickname added to them is “Mallus“.  This word many generally use it as derogatory, but most of the educated Malayalees take this lightly. Check out an answer in Quora-Why do Keralites called “Mallus”

There is a common belief and saying that Malayali’s English accent is poor and others laugh at them when they speak English.

Of course, now the trend is changed and an estimated 75 to 80% of the children are getting convent (English) education and they are proving or proved their mettle well in many areas the world over.

And among them, there are a good number of well educated and renowned intellectuals as professors, scientists, bureaucrats, and business people. But people still make fun of us on our English accent.

There are a good number of created stories in this line.

Just for a change and for a lighter vein, I am herewith posting some of such jokes.

I am sure my Malayalee brethren the world over will not get annoyed. Instead, I am sure they take this as a lighter vein.

Here is a sample of such stocks, received via mail from one of my friends (A Telugu Brother).

Hope my Malayali brethren will take this lightly!

And of course, there is a better side too!  Read on…

Don’t worry, we are no less than anybody else. In literacy, we are on the top of the list. I congratulate and appreciate my fellow Kerala brethren scattered all over the world.

Yet another interesting thing, a common saying about Malayalees are that “They are found even on the surface of the moon”

That means wherever you go you can find a Malayali.

I am happy to note this with much pride, Keep up the good work my dear fellow brethren.

I am again proud to say that Kerala is the only State achieved 100% literacy rate in the world.

So Cheer up My Dear Fellow beings and read the latest news in this line published elsewhere on the world wide web. 

In a recent blog post published by the former Supreme Court Judge and former Chairman Press Council of India Justice Markandey Katju in a blog post wrote “KERALITES ARE THE REAL INDIAN” Read part of his post below this post at Post Script:


Q. Name the wonly part of the werld, where Malayalis don’t werk hard? Ans: Kerala.

Q. Why is industrial productivity is very low in Kerala?

A: Because 80% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the mundu or lungi** (a garment worn around the waist) LOL  (Watch the video given at the bottom of this post to know more about Mudu)

Q. Why did Malayali buy an air-ticket?

A: To go to Thuubai (Dubai), zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff (Gulf)

Q. Why do Malayali’s go to the Gelff?

A: To yearn meney

Q. What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?

A: He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

Q. What is Malayali management graduate called?

A: Yem Bee Yae.

Q. Why did his wife divorce him?

A: Because he was louwing another woman. Who found out that? His aandy (aunt).

Q. What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?

A: He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

Q. What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?

A: An Oto.

Q. Why Kerala is the heghly literrate state in India?

A: It’s easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapal from Kerala.

Q. Which car does he purchase when he gets license?

A: A second hand Mercedes.

Another interesting part of this joke is given in the PostScript, it says:

PS: Please don’t delete this; it’s not a junk mail. If you send this mail to 10 Malayalis you will receive ½ liter cocunut oil. 20 Malayalis you will receive 1 kg benena chips. 40 Malayalis you will receive 3Appams (a dosa like preparation (sweet taste) prepare on festive seasons) and mutton curry.
Yet another interesting joke I noticed is given below:

A “Mallu” (Malayalees are called sarcastically by this word) female (from the central part-more educated class lives in this part) of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a PERSONAL SECRETARY.

When the manager saw the Mallu’s colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming “WHOW!! NOT THIS WOMAN.”

Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.

So he told her “If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, and then maybe I will give you a chance. The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK.”
The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said:

I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW……BLUE’s that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ……..Don’t PURPOSELY disturb people and don’t call BLACK, ok? Thank you.”

Hearing this the Manager fainted…….

Source: ILoveKerala.Org

Here is yet another joke found on the Goolge+ platform posted by Mr. Sunil.

Yet another joke I just found in Google+ Friends of Kerala Page ( കേരള കൂട്ടുകാര്‍ )  Posted by Sunil the Chanakkyan Saint Of Love


Officer : What Is Your Name ?

Candidate : M P. Sir.

Officer : Tell Me Properly.

Candidate : Muthu Pandi Sir.

Officer : Your Father’s Name ?

Candidate : M P. Sir.

Officer: What Does That Mean ?

Candidate: Muruga Pandi Sir.

Officer: Your Native Place ?

Candidate: M P. Sir.

Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh ?

Candidate: No, Madurai Pakkam Sir.

Officer: What Is Your Qualification ?

Candidate: M P. Sir.

Officer : (Angrily)?What Is It ?

Candidate: Metric Pass Sir.

Officer: Why Do You Need A Job ?

Candidate: M P. Sir.

Officer: And What Does That Mean ?

Candidate: Money Problem Sir.

Officer: Describe Your Personality ?

Candidate: M P. Sir.

Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly..

Candidate: Mindblowing Personality Sir.

Officer: This Discussion Is Now over, ?You May Go

Candidate: M P. Sir.

Officer: huh..What Is It Now ??

Candidate: My Performance Sir.

Officer: M P. da

Candidate:?What Is That Sir. ….??

Officer: Moodittu Poda ..? (Shut up and Go)

Candidate: M P. Sir.

Officer:?Now, What Is Thissss ????

Candidate: My Pleasure Sir.

Thanks, Sunil

Authors and readers are invited to contribute to this Knol with more such jokes not only on Keralites but other jokes too are welcome. Keep writing my dear flocks. THANKS IN ADVANCE.

Though these types of comments/jokes are flashing here and there about my community, it is really wonderful to note that Keralites are not behind in education or any other field compared to the other states in India as well as other nations.


Here is a small example to note: In the recently conducted Civil Services Examinations the 3 among the top 5 are Keralites. Here is a news item published by the well-known media, India Today.   Three Keralites are among the top five in the Civil Services Examinations


Kerala has always been at the helm in education and Keralites are known for their academic excellence all over India. We all should be proud as Indian that women got the top place. My congratulation to them all. And I m from Punjab. So no prejudice, but a genuine appreciation of intelligence must be held high instead of narrow regional mindset. Rise up as Indian.



Read what the former Supreme Court Judge and former Chairman Press Council of India Justice Markandey Katju said about Mallus or Malayalees:  Read on…

*”MALAYALEES” ARE THE REAL INDIANS – Says Justice Markendey Katju, Former Judge, Supreme Court of Inda”*.

*”In all respects, Malayalis (i.e.Keralites) are the real Indians, says Justice Katju. Only the Malayalis truly represent the real Indians. The mindset of a Malayali to accept anything is his unique quality.”*

*”Posing to himself the question as to who are the real Indians, Justice Katju, in his Facebook posting, eulogized Malayalis up to the sky!”*

*Gist of his posting is here:*

*” I am a Kashmiri.  Therefore, I would like to call “Kashmiris” as real Indians.  But, frankly speaking, only the ‘Malayalis’ can be called as the  ‘real Indians’.  Only the Malayalis have all the qualities which need to be possessed by an Indian.*

*”To live unitedly with religious tolerance, one has to respect equally all sections of the society.  It is only the Malayalis who truly follows this practice.  For this reason alone, it needs to be said that Malayalis symbolically represents all the Indians. One needs to learn from the Malayalis.”*

*”Malayalis can be seen on every part of the globe.  Some Malayali Muslims invited me to Qatar last year.  realized that there are more Malayalis there than the locals.”*

The real Indians are the Keralites because they have in them the quintessential qualities of Indians. Says Justice Katju Click To Tweet

*”Like in other parts of India, there is no discrimination of Scheduled Castes/Dalits in Kerala.  Shree Narayana Guru is revered and honored by everyone there.   Namboodiris from Kerala will always be the Chief Priest (Main Pujari) of the Badrinath Temple in the Himalaya.  Kerala contributed world-famous artists, poets, mathematicians, and scientists.”*

*”Malayali Nurses serve in most of the Hospitals both in India and abroad.  I believe that there are no illiterates in Kerala.  Malayalis are intelligent, hardworking, have manners and humility.  Malayalis are large-hearted.  They are progressive thinkers, patriotic and have a secular mindset respecting all religions. They criticize themselves including their religion, language and  use the maximum best part of democracy – grow in a positive direction with creativity .”*

*”ALL INDIANS MUST LEARN FROM THE MALAYALIS. Justice Katju ended his post with  a  “Jai Malayalis and long life to Malayalis”.*



To Read The Full Text Of The Post And The Feedback Please Visit His Page HERE 

This post becomes so viral and the media reported about it widely.  Here are a few links to check:

INDIA TODAY’S REPORT:   Keralites are the real Indians, says Justice Katju. And Malayalis on Facebook go gaga

INDIAN EXPRESS DAILY:  ‘Long live the Keralites,’ writes Justice Katju

DNA INDIA:  Keralites are the real Indians: Markandeya Katju writes blog praising Malayalis

INDIA TIMES:  Justice Katju Feels Keralites Are Real Indians, Believes They Have ‘Quintessential Qualities Of Indians

To know more about Mundu/lungi watch this video:

Read some of the related posts published on this website please click on this link:



India Today

Indian Express

DNA India

India Times

John Vargis.



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Most of these jokes have become old now; also, some of them sound very much like the Gujju accents I come across in Surat–like benena instead of banana. Ungle instead of Uncle is a Mallu accent for sure.

“ISMILE” instead of smile could be either Bihari or U.P…There are countless more such examples; just observe when they speak…

The joke given below is also very interesting—I guess i should say “Bery interesting” since I am Bengali…

A Delhi Panju guy decides to buy 3 samosas from a popular road side eatery. He asks the shop guy to “rape” (wrap) 3 samosas for him. The shop guy asks “do you want them to be raped separately or together?”

Last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:10 AM
First Published on: Oct 12, @ 17:50 PM
Dear Friend, Thanks for the comment, Yes, I know these are pretty old jokes and i agree too that some other states like AP, Gujarat, Bengal and many others too will fall into this section, but still keralites accents are far more better than of all others, Just for the sake of some fun I posted this, I am sure many of my Malayalee friends here and elsewhere will not get offended and will take this lightly,
Dear Friend, I invite you to be a co-author or contributor to this knol
with best regards
PS: by the by will you pl reveal your identity. Thanks
Posted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:09 AM
Invite as author


Thanks for the chuckle…lol
Last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:50 AM
Thanks Bhavana I really missed your comment, Will you pl. join me in this knol as a co author or a contributor. I am sure you can add some jokes here in relation to the English language
With best regards

Posted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:50 AM

Murali Dharan
Invite as author


Last edited Oct 22, 2010 7:17 AM
Hi Murali,
Thanks for the comment, somehow i missed your post, Happy to note that you did not get offended on these jokes, I appreciate.
Murali Here is an invitation I am posting pl post some jokes of similar kind if any on English accent
Thanks in advance
PVPosted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 16, 2010 1:13 AM
PV, That is really interesting indeed, no worries,
write on and on :-)
Posted by Murali DharanInvite as author, last edited Oct 17, 2010 8:21 AM
Thanks Murali
Posted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 22, 2010 7:17 AM
Invite as author

Very Interesting

Its really interesting. These jokes made our DAY. Thanks PV for this funny Jokes about, we malayalees, though its interesting many are not relevent at all at this present day, because Malayalees are improved a lot in thier status in all levels. Some we can’t take it, any way thanks for the “PERSONAL SECRETARY” joke. All the best
Last edited Oct 24, 2008 6:29 AM

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  1. Yet another joke i just found in Google+ Friends of Kerala Page ( കേരള കൂട്ടുകാര്‍ )
    Posted by Sunil the Chanakkyan Saint Of Love


    Officer : What Is Your Name ?

    Candidate : M P. Sir.

    Officer : Tell Me Properly.

    Candidate : Muthu Pandi Sir.

    Officer : Your Father’s Name ?

    Candidate : M P. Sir.

    Officer : What Does That Mean ?

    Candidate : Muruga Pandi Sir.

    Officer : Your Native Place ?

    Candidate : M P. Sir.

    Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?

    Candidate : No, Madurai Pakkam Sir.

    Officer : What Is Your Qualification ?

    Candidate : M P. Sir.

    Officer : (Angrily)?What Is It ?

    Candidate : Metric Pass Sir.

    Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?

    Candidate : M P. Sir.

    Officer : And What Does That Mean ?

    Candidate : Money Problem Sir.

    Officer : Describe Your Personality ?

    Candidate : M P. Sir.

    Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly..

    Candidate : Mindblowing Personality Sir.

    Officer : This Discussion Is Now over, ?You May Go

    Candidate : M P. Sir.

    Officer : huh..What Is It Now ??

    Candidate : My Performance Sir.

    Officer : M P. da

    Candidate : ?What Is That Sir. ….??

    Officer : Moodittu Poda ..? (Shut up and Go)

    Candidate: M P. Sir.

    Officer : ?Now What Is Thissss ????

    Candidate: My Pleasure Sir.

    Thanks Sunil

    November 18, 2015
    • Luna Lovegood
      Luna Lovegood

      Really funny.. hahahahhaa
      Thanks for sharing these interesting snippets.
      Keep sharing.

      August 13, 2018
  2. Ha Ha…some real joyful moments. Thanks for sharing Phil. I read couple of more today, sharing one (not regional though):

    “Customer care officer: I need a product identification no: right now, and may I help you in finding it out?
    Customer: sure
    CCO: could you left click on start and do you find ‘My Computer’?
    Customer: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?”

    Take care and happy Friday :)

    May 27, 2016
    • Hi Manidipa,
      Nice to see you here again! :-)
      Thanks Manidipa, for the share, it is really hilarious! :-) :-) :-)
      Yes, we need to have some lighter veins in our daily serious routine!
      These types of snippets will surely give a kind of relaxation to our mind!
      The other day we received few similar jokes through our WhatsApp Here it is:
      1: Smart answer by a female…
      On a fight a guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him…
      ‘Nice perfume… which one is it?…
      I want to gift it to my wife…!!’
      Lady: Don’t give her… some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her…!!! :-) :-) :-)

      2: A letter from a teachre to a parent
      Dear Parent,
      Kumar doesn’t smell nice in class. Please try to bath him

      Parent’s Answer: Dear Teacher, Kumar is not a rose, Don’t smell him, Teach him!! :-) :-) :-)

      3: Mother to Son: Who is Tippu Sultan?
      Son: Don’t know
      Mother: sometime give attention to your studies also.
      Son to Mother: Do you know Chinky Aunty?
      Mother: Don’t know
      Son: Sometimes give attention to Dad also!! :-) :-) :-)
      Ann Phil

      May 31, 2016
  3. Thomas Chacko
    Thomas Chacko

    As a Malayalee who went to Calcutta in the 1950s as a 7 year old, I have experienced a lot of teasing in my first couple of years in that city. In those days the standard of English in Calcutta was very good and the products of about 15 schools (All Christian run) was the best in the country. We South Indians were lumped into one amorphous group and made fun of because of the South Indian accent. What they did not realise is that they were comparing the English spoken by students of schools like La Martiniere with the products of non English medium school in South India. If you compare the English spoken by students of Bengali medium schools with those from Malayalam medium schools, Malayalees would come out well on top.
    You should hear English spoken by Bengalis who have studied in Bengali medium schools or even those who have studied in English medium schools in West Bengal that are outside Calcutta city.
    For instance they pronounce zoo as joo and very as bherry. There are ever so many such words that the Bengali mispronounces.

    April 5, 2018
  4. Vedmani

    Hi Philip,
    very interesting post. A lot of things to laugh about, but at the same time a lot of serious things to ponder over too. Very Useful and thought-provoking information you shared. Keep writing. This is my first visit to your page, will surely come again to read more.

    April 9, 2018
  5. Kishore Kumar Banerjee
    Kishore Kumar Banerjee


    That is completely true which Thomas quoted.
    Being a Bengali, I admit that South Indians have far better accent than Bengali-Medium Students.

    April 14, 2018

    Thanks for sharing this interesting piece for your readers in the midst of so many serious reading. It’s really funny to know a bit more about the lovely people of Kerala. In fact, this post made my day.
    Keep posting such interesting posts as often as possible.
    Best regards

    May 9, 2018
  7. Amithab

    The article made my day today and specially enjoyed the Video of ‘Land of Lungi’ and the music. Great going and all the best.

    May 9, 2018
  8. Amit Shee
    Amit Shee

    very interesting post. A lot of things to laugh about, but at the same time a lot of serious things to ponder over too. Very Useful and thought-provoking information you shared. Keep writing. This is my first visit to your page, will surely come again to read more

    August 11, 2018
  9. Luna Lovegood
    Luna Lovegood

    Such an enjoyable article and videos.
    Really awesome, a must read

    August 13, 2018
  10. Ahmed Treen
    Ahmed Treen

    Wow, this was awesome. Keep writing this kind of posts, you will get a lot of people to this blog if you continue working on this.

    January 18, 2019
  11. Renato Joesph
    Renato Joesph

    Hi Philip,
    Good to meet you,
    I am so glad to be here today, what an interesting post!
    I really enjoyed reading every bit of it. Thanks for sharing these interesting post.
    Keep sharing.

    April 20, 2019

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