Keralites-Malayalees and Their English Accent Few Jokes For The Day

 (A Few Jokes on Keralites)  A Migrated Knol Post.

There is a common belief that Malayalees (Keralites) English accent is very poor and others laugh at them when they speak English. This is a joke made upon that line… Hope my fellow Malayalees will not get annoyed!


 Keralites-Malayalees and Their English Accent Few Jokes For The Day!

indiatoday.intoday.in

Picture Credit: India Today-Three Keralites are among the top five in the Civil Services Examinations

The people of Kerala (A Southern state in India) members of the collection of the ethnic groups defined by their native language ‘Malayalam. They are generally called- ‘Malayali’ or “Malayalees” this word is derived from the word ‘Malayalam.’ The people who speak the language Malayalam and are natives of Kerala are called Malayalis or Keralites or yet another nick name added to them that is “Mallus”.

There is a common belief and saying that Malayali’s English accent is poor and others laugh at them when they speak English. Of course now the trend is changed and an estimated 75 to 80% of the children are getting convent or English medium education and they are proving or proved their metal in many areas the world over. And among them there are a good number of well educated and renowned professors, scientist and business people. But people still make fun of us on our English accent. There are a good number of created stories in this line. Just for a change and for a lighter vein, I am herewith posting some of the jokes.  I am sure my Malayalee brethren (Malloos) the world over will not get annoyed. Instead I am sure they take this lighter vein.  Here is a sample of such stocks, received via mail from my friend, Vasanth Kumar (A Telugu Brother). Hope my Malayali brethren will take this lightly!

And of course there is a better side too!  Read on…

Don’t worry, we are no less than anybody else. In literacy we are on the top of the list. I congratulate and appreciate my fellow Kerala brethren scattered all over the world.

Yet another interesting thing, a common saying about Malayaalees are that “They are found even on the surface of the moon” That means wherever you go you can find a Malayaali. I am happy to note this with much pride, Keep up my dear fellow Mallu brethren.

I am again proud to say that Kerala is the only State achieved 100% literacy rate in the world.

So Cheer up My Dear Fellow beings and read a latest news in this line published elsewhere on the world wide web. 

In a recent blog post published by the former Supreme Court Judge and former Chairman Press Council of India Justice Markandey Katju in a blog post wrote “KERALITES ARE THE REAL INDIAN” Read part of his post below this post at Post Script:

JOKES FOR THE DAY

Q. Name the wonly part of the werld, where Malayalis don’t werk hard? Ans: Kerala.

Q. Why is industrial productivity is very low in Kerala?

A: Because 80% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the mundu or lungi (a garment worn around the waist) LOL

Q. Why did Malayali buy an air-ticket?

A: To go to Thuubai (Dubai), zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff (Gulf)

Q. Why do Malayali’s go to the Gelff?

A: To yearn meney

Q. What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?

A: He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

Q. What is Malayali management graduate called?

A: Yem Bee Yae.

Q. Why did his wife divorce him?

A: Because he was louwing another woman. Who found out that? His aandy (aunt).

Q. What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?

A: He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

Q. What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?

A: An Oto.

Q. Why Kerala is the heghly literrate state in India?

A: It’s easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapal from Kerala.

Q. Which car does he purchase when he gets license?

A: A second hand Mercedes.

Another interesting part of this joke is given in the Post Script, it says:

PS: Please don’t delete this; it’s not a junk mail. If you send this mail to 10 Malayalis you will receive ½ liter cocunut oil. 20 Malayalis you will receive 1 kg benena chips. 40 Malayalis you will receive 3Appams (a dosa like preparation (sweet taste) prepare on festive seasons) and mutton curry.
Yet another interesting joke I noticed is given below:

A “Mallu” (Malayalees are called sarcastically by this word) female (from the central part-more educated class lives in this part) of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a PERSONAL SECRETARY.

When the manager saw the Mallu’s colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming “WHOW!! NOT THIS WOMAN.”

Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.

So he told her “If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, and then maybe I will give you a chance. The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK.”
The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said:

I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW……BLUE’s that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ……..Don’t PURPOSELY disturb people and don’t call BLACK, ok? Thank you.”

Hearing this the Manager fainted…….

Source : ILoveKerala.Org

Authors and readers are invited to contribute to this Knol with more such jokes not only on Keralites but other jokes too are welcome. Keep writing my dear flocks. THANKS IN ADVANCE.

Though these types of comments/jokes are flashing here and there about my community, it is really wonderful to note that Keralites are not behind in education or any other field compared to the other states in India as well as other nations.

Here is a small example to note: In the recently conducted Civil Services Examinations the 3 among the top 5 are Keralites. Here is a news item published by the well known media, India Today.   Three Keralites are among the top five in the Civil Services Examinations

I am so glad to note a comment made by a non keralite: TO READ THE FULL REPORT AND MORE COMMENTS PLEASE CLICK HERE

Mukesh  

Kerala has always been at helm in education and Keralites are known for their academic excellence all over India. We all should be proud as Indian that women got the top place. My congratulation to them all. And i m from Punjab. So no prejudice, but genuine appreciation of intelligence must be held high instead of narrow regional mindset. Rise up as Indian.

POST SCRIPT:

“KERALITES ARE THE REAL INDIANS”

Read what the former Supreme Court Judge and former Chairman Press Council of India Justice Markandey Katju said about Mallus or Malayalees:  Read on…

*”MALAYALEES” ARE THE REAL INDIANS – Says Justice Markendey Katju, Former Judge, Supreme Court of Inda”*.

*”In all respects, Malayalis (i.e.Keralites) are the real Indians, says Justice Katju. Only the Malayalis truly represents the real Indians. The mindset of a Malayali to accept anything is his unique quality.”*

*”Posing to himself the question as to who are the real Indians, Justice Katju, in his Facebook posting, eulogized Malayalis upto the sky!”*

*Gist of his posting is here:*

*” I am a Kashmiri.  Therefore, I would like to call “Kashmiris” as the real Indians.  But, frankly speaking, only the ‘Malayalis’ can be called as the  ‘real Indians’.  Only the Malayalis have all the qualities which needs to be possessed by an Indian.*

*”To live unitedly with religious tolerance, one has to respect equally all sections of the society.  It is only the Malayalis who truly follows this practice.  For this reason alone, it needs to be said that Malayalis symbolically represents all the Indians. One needs to learn from the Malayalis.”*

*”Malayalis can be seen on every part of the globe.  Some Malayali Muslims invited me to Qatar last year.  Realised that there are more Malayalis there than the locals.”*

The real Indians are the Keralites, because they have in them the quintessential qualities of Indians. Says… Click To Tweet

*”Like in other parts of India, there is no discrimination of Scheduled Castes/Dalits in Kerala.  Shree Narayana Guru is revered and honoured by everyone there.   Namboodiris from Kerala will always be the Chief Priest (Main Pujari) of the Badrinath Temple in the Himalaya.  Kerala contributed world-famous artists, poets, mathematicians and scientists.”*

*”Malayali Nurses serve in most of the Hospitals both in India and abroad.  I believe that there are no illiterates  in Kerala.  Malayalis are intelligent, hardworking, have manners and humility.  Malayalis are large-hearted.  They are progressive thinkers, patriotics and have a secular mindset respecting all religions.They  criticise themselves including their religion, language and  use maximum best part of democracy – grow in positive direction with creativity .”*

*”ALL INDIANS MUST LEARN FROM THE MALAYALIS. Justice Katju ended his post with  a  “Jai Malayalis and long life to Malayalis”.*

To Read The Full Text Of The Post And The Feedback Please Visit His Page HERE 

This post become so viral and the media reported about it widely.  Here are few links to check:

INDIA TODAY’S REPORT:   Keralites are the real Indians, says Justice Katju. And Malayalis on Facebook go gaga

INDIAN EXPRESS DAILY:  ‘Long live the Keralites,’ writes Justice Katju

DNA INDIA:  Keralites are the real Indians: Markandeya Katju writes blog praising Malayalis

INDIA TIMES:  Justice Katju Feels Keralites Are Real Indians, Believes They Have ‘Quintessential Qualities Of Indians

 

Source:

India Today

Indian Express

DNA India

India Times

John Vargis

 

Sharehttp://www.indiatimes.com/news/india/justice-katju-feels-keralites-are-real-indians-believes-they-have-quintessential-qualities-of-indians-259847.html

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Untitled

Hey….

Most of these jokes have become old now; also, some of them sound very much like the Gujju accents I come across in Surat–like benena instead of banana. Ungle instead of Uncle is a Mallu accent for sure.

“ISMILE” instead of smile could be either Bihari or U.P…There are countless more such examples; just observe when they speak…

The joke given below is also very interesting—I guess i should say “Bery interesting” since I am Bengali…

A Delhi Panju guy decides to buy 3 samosas from a popular road side eatery. He asks the shop guy to “rape” (wrap) 3 samosas for him. The shop guy asks “do you want them to be raped separately or together?”

Last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:10 AM

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Dear Friend, Thanks for the comment, Yes, I know these are pretty old jokes and i agree too that some other states like AP, Gujarat, Bengal and many others too will fall into this section, but still keralites accents are far more better than of all others, Just for the sake of some fun I posted this, I am sure many of my Malayalee friends here and elsewhere will not get offended and will take this lightly,
Dear Friend, I invite you to be a co-author or contributor to this knol
with best regards
Philip
PS: by the by will you pl reveal your identity. Thanks

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Posted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:09 AM

Bhawana

Thanks for the chuckle…lol
Last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:50 AM

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Thanks Bhavana I really missed your comment, Will you pl. join me in this knol as a co author or a contributor. I am sure you can add some jokes here in relation to the English language
With best regards
philip

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Posted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:50 AM

FANTASTIC JOKES ABOUT MALLUS THE MALAYALEES.

PV THIS IS VERY INTERESTING. I LAUGHED AND LAUGHED. REALLY FUNNY. MURALI
Last edited Oct 22, 2010 7:17 AM

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Hi Murali,
Thanks for the comment, somehow i missed your post, Happy to note that you did not get offended on these jokes, I appreciate.
Murali Here is an invitation I am posting pl post some jokes of similar kind if any on English accent
Thanks in advance
PV

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Posted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 16, 2010 1:13 AM
PV, That is really interesting indeed, no worries,
write on and on 🙂

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Posted by Murali DharanInvite as author, last edited Oct 17, 2010 8:21 AM
Thanks Murali

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Posted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 22, 2010 7:17 AM

Very Interesting

Its really interesting. These jokes made our DAY. Thanks PV for this funny Jokes about, we malayalees, though its interesting many are not relevent at all at this present day, because Malayalees are improved a lot in thier status in all levels. Some we can’t take it, any way thanks for the “PERSONAL SECRETARY” joke. All the best
Last edited Oct 24, 2008 6:29 AM

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A Freelance writer from Secunderabad India

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by Philip Verghese 'Ariel'

A Multilingual Freelance Writer, Editor, Blogger, Roundup Expert, Translator, Internet Marketer And A Social Campaigner. Manages different sites in English as well as in Malayalam. Born And Brought Up In Kerala. Now Based At Secunderabad, Telangana, India. Can Reach At: philipscom55(@)Gmail [.] Com twitter: @PVAriel Skype Philva6

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5 Comments on "Keralites-Malayalees and Their English Accent Few Jokes For The Day"

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Manidipa Bhaumik
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Ha Ha…some real joyful moments. Thanks for sharing Phil. I read couple of more today, sharing one (not regional though):

“Customer care officer: I need a product identification no: right now, and may I help you in finding it out?
Customer: sure
CCO: could you left click on start and do you find ‘My Computer’?
Customer: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?”

Take care and happy Friday 🙂

Ann Phil
Admin
Hi Manidipa, Nice to see you here again! 🙂 Thanks Manidipa, for the share, it is really hilarious! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Yes, we need to have some lighter veins in our daily serious routine! These types of snippets will surely give a kind of relaxation to our mind! The other day we received few similar jokes through our WhatsApp Here it is: 1: Smart answer by a female… On a fight a guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him… ‘Nice perfume… which one is it?… I want to gift it to my wife…!!’ Lady: Don’t give her… some… Read more »
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